zhidan:D_

Gone were the days

2011-10-28T00:33:00.001+08:00

Don't we all just miss the times when everything was so cute and innocent and sweet?

Maturity ruins everything. Growing up sucks.

TEETH

2010-11-25T17:16:00.002+08:00

I think i neglected this blog for a very very very long time alr.

Trying to revive it but i think nobody will read it anyway, so im gonna post for FUN :D

NO MORE BRACES.

AFTER 1 year and 2 months!

Feels so weird without it and now the retainers feel so weird as well.

On another note, Os are OVER.

Okay i know im lagging cause that's like 1week+ ago.

Can anybody believe it's only been 1week+?

To me it feels like months alr, idk why.

Job at airport was tiring for the first few days but really fun!

Going inside transit seems so cool for the first few days but subsequently the thrill dies down.

After i get my pay i wanna go get my DKNY perfume!

Hopefully its cheaper inside transit, teehee.

I love my job!! :D

PS. The retainers still feels so weird.

3years

2010-11-04T00:25:00.006+08:00

Time flies.
I could still vividly remember what was it like 3years ago.

Three years ago, I just got through sec1.
& now im a sec 4 and feeling as if Os are alr over.

Never Let You Go

2010-10-02T21:53:00.001+08:00

Cant wait for Os to be over ):

MIA

2010-07-31T01:35:00.004+08:00

Something is wrong with me ):
When i get good results i'll think that im tyco and dun feel happy.
When i get bad results i'll think that im dumb and feel extremely sad.

Super wrong mindset la -.-

MIA until aft prelims/Os.
Depends on my mood.
No more blogging of emo crap next time :D
Shall start to blog properly again.

SEC 4 LIFE SUCKS TTM.

Im gonna start building my ladder.
Teehee.

Happy

2010-07-11T01:35:00.003+08:00

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should. Know that grudges are a waste of happiness. Let go of what you cannot change. Love deeply, forgive quickly, take some chances. Give all you have got. Always try to take things in your stride and smile when you’re feeling sad. Remember what you’ve got but also love and cherish what you have now. Give all that you have, because life is too short to be anything else but happy.

I should really start to blog properly some day -.-

Letting go

2010-07-02T21:49:00.002+08:00

To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

Even

2010-06-26T23:53:00.003+08:00

有人说, 爱一个人多久, 就必须用多久去忘记他

Should i be happy that among this 3yrs+,
there's 484 days worth remembering?

Today is the 484th.
Is it time to really forget?
This is what you want, right?
Maybe you're right.

Its Not The Outcome That Matters.
If We Put Our Heart Into It,
Even If We Are Not Together In The End,
The Sweet Memories Together Is Already Enough.

Some things still hurt as much now.
But maybe it's time for me to pick up myself from where i have fallen.
It wont be easy,
but,
i'll try... ):

Certain memories are impossible to forget.

Joke

2010-06-18T23:45:00.003+08:00

Life's a joke.

Seriously, if such things happen like 4 or 5 years ago,
i might feel as though im the happiest girl on earth.
But for now, im only feeling -_____-"

Is it really wrong to live your life for someone else?

Realised something.
逃避是现在唯一的办法.

Who cares if running away doesnt solve anything,
at least it works for now.

I have moodswings!

Heck care, everybody deserves to be happy.

Trying to be indifferent right now.

This totally sounds like me.

Get Well Soon

2010-06-13T01:52:00.003+08:00

This is from me to me.

GET WELL SOON :D :D :D

Cause no one else care -.-

Hints

2010-05-28T00:50:00.004+08:00

Why are we constantly dropping hints but doing nothing about it?

Metals will rust, parallel lines dont meet, 1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+...
Everything is just too much and too tiring to be handled.
So what if i care?
So what if i hold on?
Nothing matters cause nothing will change.
I should just rot and die.

Life sucks

2010-05-17T18:34:00.003+08:00

Life sucks.
Idk wtf is wrong with life i encounter with so many weird ppl/despos/perverts almost everyday _|_

Kp, bloody irritating like shit.
Sucks even more when there is nobody you can turn to and have to deal with all this shit alone.

Its going to be painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but its gonna hurt even more to ask someone to stay if you can never make the relationship work out the way it should.

Cause love is like bubbles, touch it and it'll break.

1st May 2010

2010-05-01T22:33:00.002+08:00

LIFE ROCKS.
LIFE IS SO AWESOME.
IM FINALLY SIXTEEN.
I thought 16th bday was supposed to be a little special,
but i guess not.
Spending it alone -.-
Life rocks.
Totally.

Feels retarded to buy a birthday cake for myself,
sing birthday song for myself.
Everything is retarded,
nobody cares.

Forcing a smile when there are tears in your eyes totally sucks.
Studying for exams until cry sucks like crap.
Im still a weakling, grow older makes no difference.

Why is it that we are more willing to open our heart again for that one person who hurts us the most rather than for someone new?

AWESOME

2010-04-25T15:06:00.002+08:00

LIFE ROCKS.
THIS YEAR IS GONNA BE MY BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.

Parents going wedding dinner.
Friends all mugging.
Im gonna celebrate it alone!
Maybe with my bro.
Say YAY!
Mum was feeling guilty and stuff and want to celebrate it earlier,
but guess what i said?
I dun care bout my birthday.
WHO CARES.

My 16h birthday is going to be AWESOME.

857`

2010-04-18T21:54:00.001+08:00

Forget it la.
Everything hurts.
I dun have the bloody rights to care at all.

Shall stop using com totally until mye over.
Using com only makes me sad and cry and no mood to study.
FL.

Pretend

2010-04-06T19:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i really wish people would stop asking me how I am. They should know by now that the answer is “I’m fine.” And I’m getting really tired of lying all the time.

It really starts to hurt when I pretend it doesnt.

400th

2010-04-04T21:33:00.003+08:00

I’ve come to realize that knowing something won’t happen won’t make you want it any less.

Till i look at my hands and feel sad.
Cause the spaces between my fingers,
are right where yours fit perfectly.

854`

2010-04-02T21:19:00.003+08:00

Did ecareers the other day in sch.
The job they suggested is so.... -.-
I've got jobs like psychologists, counsellors, dieticians, gynae, doctor blah blah.
And ppl's reactions were like YOU PSYCHO PPL TO BE EMO ARH -.-
Cool right, be a dietician and make ppl underweight -.-

Loner today.
Woke up at 7+ for tuition.
Brain totally dead.
Bro went out today and im left with my mum -.-
Okay fine, im the one who chose not to go out.
Being loner and staying at home is good.

I miss UP.
And it doesnt matter whether we were doing the most boring thing on earth like stoning at the coffee bean and playing taptap.

Motivation

2010-03-26T22:54:00.002+08:00

Guess you just gave me the motivation and encouragement again.
Was happy, and yet tearing.
How irony.
Yes, i know the pain of losing something dear and im going to wait, no matter how long it would be.

852`

2010-03-18T23:11:00.002+08:00

Why cant blogger schedule post like how wordpress does?
ARGH.

OMG.
Saw may's msn pm and suddenly realised that tmr's gonna be the last ever performance im gonna have with dance.
SHUCKS.
Tmr's gonna be a bad day.

& I aint going to move on unless im moving towards you.

Anti social

2010-03-18T15:21:00.004+08:00

Im anti social this holidays.
Other than going sch/dental/buy food,
i dun go out at all.

Watched xiaxue wedding video and cried.
Damn sad.

IM DUMB.
Search my wallet alot of time cant find any money.
So i went to withdraw.
Aft that open up wallet again i see money -.-
I dun even have to go withdraw la.
Super blind.

Performance at orchard tmr.
Don't feel anything at all.
Most prob tmr will be nervous like crap.

Such thoughts always scare me.

Athazagoraphobia.

2010-03-17T12:48:00.004+08:00

You don't know how much I want to be there for you.

Fall Apart

2010-03-16T14:06:00.003+08:00

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart

Fb pisses everybody off -.-
Zzz.
There's a limit to everybody's patience lorh.
If one day i cant stand it anymore right, dun blame me for being kp -.-
But, on a side note, what right do i have to care?

Life sucks.

You know you’re in love when all it takes is one song to make you think of him. And you can’t hear anything except the music and your heart beating. All of a sudden you find it hard to breathe, butterflies are in your stomach, and tears are running down your cheeks. But you don’t know why.

848`

2010-03-14T23:04:00.002+08:00

I wish you would just show up on my doorstep.
Not with anything special, just you.
And when I’d open the door you’d smile and while I’m trying to figure out what the hell you’re doing here,
you’d tell me how hard the past months have been,
how much you’ve thought about me,
how much you regretted everything.
And then you’d take me into your arms and ask me to forgive you and I would without hesitation.
Then you’d grab my face and kiss me the way you used to and everything would be perfect again.
-eletheowl

~~Day~~ Nightdreaming.

Disappointed

2010-03-14T12:42:00.003+08:00

Results are a disappointment.
A1, B3, B4, C5, C6.
Only didnt get A2.
Damn sian.
Compulsory subjects like language and humanities can get A1,
but the rest of the subjects sucks -.-
L1R5 sucks.
Highest i've gotten so far.
Seriously, only can blame myself la.
Though really got study also.
Zzz.
Term 2 gonna mug like crazy.

I want to take social science or health science next time! :D
Val keep saying i got the gynae face, LOL.
I love kids :D

Extra lesson plus cca tmr.
So glad i have extra lesson, can pon the 1st half session of cca.
DAMN DAMN BORING.
Rather have lesson.
Hope march performance gonna be over soon.

& it's at times like this when I wish you are here with me.

Hate

2010-03-10T19:54:00.003+08:00

I always think of you before I fall asleep. The words you said, the way you looked. The things we laughed about, the silent moments we shared. And when I dream, I'll dream of you; cause it's about you, it's always about you.

I hate the way i am now.
I hate the way how i have been screwing up my life.
I hate the way i have to look at you from a distance without you knowing.
I hate the way how i think too much.
I hate the way everything is right now.
I hate the way how we pretend we don't even know each other.
I hate the way how things seem to fall in place in the past but not now.
I hate the way how i have been putting on a brave front.
I hate the way how i act happy.
I hate life.
I love you.

Is there any faithful man in this world at all?

Worried

2010-03-07T22:31:00.007+08:00

WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED

怎么办? ):

Life

2010-03-07T11:21:00.003+08:00

Whoever said, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone” is wrong, because you know exactly what you have when you have it. You just don’t know how much you need it until you can’t have it anymore.
-eletheowl

Life is bullshit.
Same old routine everyday.
Results dropping like mad.
It's either VERY GOOD,
or VERY BAD.
Screw it man.
Even if i study damn hard also get crappy results.
Term 1 results is screwed.

Had cca on fri when most cca dun have.
March performance gonna be at orchard, sigh.
Somehow not very nervous bout it,
cause the dance quite easy though it's contemporary and modern.
Doing 1 time cny dance = 5 times march performance.
Cny dance is really super tiring.
Aiya i got nth to say la okay.
Blogging is boring.
Twitter much better.
So go stalk twitter instead of here.

Seeing you makes me miss you even more.

Worried

2010-02-28T22:09:00.001+08:00

I worry for you in almost every aspect of your life,
but i guess my concern doesnt matter and wouldnt change a single thing.

842`

2010-02-17T18:25:00.004+08:00

Realised how boring and crappy my blog is.
Took photos during cny just for this blog.
Been a damn long time since i last took photo.
Zzzzzzz.

LIFE SUCKS.
I know i've repeated this for the 12562805th time alr,
but i don't care.

Sounds like me :)

Don't think i can trust anyone anymore.

Chinese New Year 2010

2010-02-15T00:11:00.005+08:00

Valentine's overrrr.
But it doesnt matter at all cause i cant even feel the mood -.-

1st day of cny was spent at home with ppl coming over to my house.
Wasnt that bad, but dun have the mood for cny also -.-
Gonna go visiting tmr.
Spam bangles!
I feel fat for eating all the new year goodies,
shall spam crunches aft cny -.-

Moodswing ~~today~~ everyday, but at least doing my nails cheer me up.

This pic looks unglam. Z.

Didnt bother to bling too much.
Can imagine how am i gonna remove it -.-
PINK FTW!

Rove my nails (:

And happy belated birthday to val, serene and tricia.
Plus happy birthday to my bro.
Doubt he'll read it anw -.-

"Get a new life on a new year."
Best new year msg ever -_____-"

Holding On

2010-02-14T15:46:00.002+08:00

"People say that walking away is the hardest thing to do, but it isn't. Staying, even when you know it will break your heart is the toughest. Staying right where you are, waiting for your heart to be ripped apart is much harder than walking away and starting anew.
-runawaytrain

Holding on is harder than letting go.
How many people can actually withstand all those pain?

Someone

2010-02-13T18:14:00.002+08:00

There’s someone in her past that she hasn’t gotten over yet. Each day is like the last and she misses what she can’t forget. It’s just an empty space where something used to be. Now she guards the gate, but she’s lost the key. No one enters, but no one leaves.
-eletheowl

I've counted, 30.
Just screw myself.

Twitter privated.
Maybe i should just unprivate it again.
Zzz.

Life sucks, it's going to be cny soon but i dun even have the mood.

Predicament

2010-02-06T19:50:00.000+08:00

We're in a predicament. Never did I foresee this coming. Never will I be happy towards your decision to go for another. I regretted letting us go. I thought I was strong enough to withstand the pain I am going through but it seems that I’m overestimating myself. Whatever it is, I’m rolling the dice. Let fate decide on our destiny.
-SGSecrets

837`

2010-01-31T09:59:00.003+08:00

It's been so long since i have a proper post.
And i guess close to a mth since i last hurt myself.
Great achievement?
I don't want to be called sick or depressed anymore.
Life is so hectic that i don't even have time to even slow down and think bout what i really want.
Sec 4 life sure pass very fast.

Tests, hw, cca.
Enough to distract me from all the crap.
Yes, im avoiding, so what?
逃避不能解决问题,
但是除了这样, 我还能做什么?
Im even skipping recesses daily to avoid being sad.
Irregular meals everyday, cause apparently i skipped both recess and lunch.
Same thing for my medicine,
i take it once a day or sometimes, not even taking it.
Seriously, i cant be bothered.

Im so tried of everything.
One moment i can be okay,
and the next moment i can feel totally screwed up.
At least in class i can talk cock with ppl around me to feel less sad.

153days alr.
Idk what gives me the determination to continue waiting.
I really want to be okay.

别走

2010-01-29T22:10:00.002+08:00

望着你的背影犹豫你的脚步
希望你能别走不要离开我
每一次当我闭起我的双眼
过去的情景又出现
当我睁开我的双眼
发现你已走远
只希望你别走别离开我

LHLS.
Everyday seems like a chore.
So many cca practices up ahead.
Bloody tiring and stuff.
Whatever, life sucks.
Blahhhh.
Seriously, nth to post on this blog also.

HPTX IS NICE!!!!
PINK PANTHER IS CUTE!
Sian -.-
Saw a super chio studded heels at charles and keith today.
GAH.
Like i will ever wear heels.
Cny shopping tmr! (:
Finally.

School

2010-01-22T22:12:00.003+08:00

What can i conclude bout sch?
Lessons cca more lessons more cca.
Sucks.
Esp when the class is so quiet nowadays -.-

Sick for the 2nd time in the year,
how weak can i get?
Fever sucks.
38.7 degrees ytd.
Mum let me choose whether to stay home or not,
and i chose to go sch -.-
But at least i get to pon cca today -.-

Aiya, i suck la.
Almost cry cause of sitting arrangement also.
Weakling.

Life sucks.
Think my fever is coming back again.

0.0000035%

2010-01-17T22:53:00.003+08:00

Isnt it a beautiful miracle?
To see two people crossing paths,
getting to know each other,
falling in love,
and ended up being together.

Probability:0.0001%
& it hurts.

This is the post when i said about the probability of falling in love.

I read from the news,
and guess what's the exact probability?
Far from what i've said.
1/285000
which is equal to,
0.0000035087719298245615%

既然可以拥抱就不要轻易放掉...

Love hurts.
The more i watch hptx, the more i think about the past.
Some scenes seem so familiar.
Do you still remember?

Haru Haru

2010-01-09T19:28:00.006+08:00

"I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you,
but somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought.
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you",
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless."
-Haru Haru [Big Bang]

Credits to 2 emo ppl for introducing this song.
Sigh.

PS. Sth found on net.

There are many other causes of a rapid heartbeat, including:

•Infection in the lung, such as pneumonia
•Infection in the blood, which may cause a fever
•Anemia
•Low blood pressure
•Dehydration
•Drinking alcohol and caffeine
•Over the counter decongestants, and appetite suppressants
•Thyroid disorders
•Heart disorders, including irregular heartbeats (arrhythmias)

GMH

2010-01-09T18:28:00.002+08:00

Orientation ytd, luckily it wasnt screwed up but it was a screwed up day.
Life sucks.

We should all start reading GMH instead of FML.
GMH is super touching.

Look at all this:

"Last year, I was going to kill myself. I wrote a note and slipped it into my best friend's locker at school. That night, I was preparing to die, when she crawled through my window and kissed me. My first real kiss.

Kristain, I know you read GivesMeHope all the time. Will you marry me?"

"I was wearing a short sleeved shirt for the first time in years. I was nervous that when my boyfriend saw my scars he wouldn't want to be with me anymore, instead he kissed my scars, and told me that if I ever felt bad enough to hurt myself again, that he would take the pain instead. He GMH"

"Today when I was working an adorable older couple came through my line. When I asked if they had found everything they needed, the woman looked at her husband and said "I found everything I needed 43 years ago.""

"22 years ago, a 16 year old girl was pregnant with a baby of rape.

Understanding the circumstances, her parents told her to abort or be disowned.

Her best friend - her 18 year old neighbor - although he was not the father, stepped into the father figures shoes. They got married 2 years later.

Mom and dad, your love for me and each other GMH."

"Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years in a nice restaurant. When she said yes, the entire restaurant stood up and applauded.

We're both women.

Understanding of true love GMH. "

"Last year my boyfriend passed away. On my birthday his parents gave me a memorial ring and told me that they considered me their daughter and unofficially adopted me. His dad said, "I'm not kidding, even twenty years from now we want to be a part of your life". They GMH."

"When I was five, my best friend and I had a fake wedding. Today is our real one. His enduring love and friendship to this day GMH."

Just reading all this is enough to make me cry.

♥Fashion Crew Part 2

2010-01-02T22:50:00.011+08:00

Rest of the photos!

Imaginary guitar.

Charis' hair is cool.

Val looks like superwoman.

Crazy val. Teehee.

Charis and I being super bored.

Stopping at different places just to camwhore.

Pretty sky.

Supposedly wedding cathedral for AHEM. HAHAHA.

We look like statues.

I LOVE this sign. HAHAHAHAHA.

Love the designs on the gate.

Went Orchard ION Swensens ltr on for ice cream :D

Horrible eyebags for sleeping late everyday -.-

Guitar with hats.

Ice cream makes one HAPPY.

Went rizvan's house to see his wall and dog,
then went jingwen's house to play.
LOL.
Val left, and hiusheung joined us.

SPONGEBOB! LOL.

We looks like we're standing on water.
Reminds me of the quote "Love makes us walk on water."

Nice legs. Haha.

I look... sad.

Can see my leg muscles TT

Group shot!

♥Fashion Crew Part 1

2010-01-01T21:25:00.016+08:00

Credits to Charis for all the pictures :D

Went botanic gardens to have picnic.
Had to bring headgears and thus all the christmas hats and fedoras.

Charis' signature pose

Radiohead.

FOOD! The lasagne is good.

AHEM.

I look like a ghost.

Charis springing up.

MJ.

Ehhh, what am i doing?

Album art.

I think im scratching my leg LOL.

CAMOUFLAGE!

Shengyong -.-

Ouch.

Super awesomezxzx thing i did.
I was so freaked out -.-
Look at my face -.-

Finally! :D
Looks easy but it's tough.

Jump jump.

Sexy legs. Im behind LOL.

Sy's expression is classic.

That's all for now.
Will update aft receiving the rest of the photos.

2010

2009-12-31T23:31:00.003+08:00

New year.
Seriously, i dun really give a damn.
Os next yr.
It just mean another yr of torture, studying, crying.

Countdown, fireworks, whatever.
In a super grumpy mood now.

How to feel the festive joy when everything just doesnt feel right?
Cry.
Im sure i'll feel much better.

Thanks to this bunch of ppl for making my day ytd.
Im truly happy.

Fashion Crew

2009-12-30T23:03:00.002+08:00

Didnt went cca today.
And im bloody scared i cant catch up and will lag again -.-
Hate that kind of loser and useless feeling.
Always happen nowadays.
Now mad replaying the song and trying to go through in head.
You break me up, you break me down~

Didnt wanted to go cca cause had lots of drinks to carry up hill then going botanical garden alone.
Sian.
Carrying 4 packets of drinks plus one 1.5litre bottle is enough to kill when walking from bedok inter to mrt.
The dist is so short pls.
Imagine carrying to sch, DIE.

Anw, today is a fun day out with the fashion crew.
Loves!
Took like 300-400+ photos with charis' dslr.
Now she makes me feel like owning a dslr also.
GAHHHH!
Save up, save up!
Anw, i did sth super awesomezxzx :D :D :D
Will post it up when she finishes editing.
Tough work.

Just a side note, read from newspaper that most ppl will feel super extremely guilty on 29th december.
Idk why either.

"I miss talking to you, knowing that you get and understand me. Everytime I talk to someone else, it just reminds me of how much they don't.

827`

2009-12-29T23:26:00.002+08:00

Bloody confused.
With alot of things.
Im even confused whether i should go cca tmr.
It's like i dun want to pon, but im lazy to carry all the drinks up the hill and ltr going to botanical gardens again.
ARGH.

This post was saved as drafts cause mum was looking at my com screen throughout. FML -.-

Christmas

2009-12-25T23:43:00.004+08:00

THANKYOU TO MANDY AND JIANYOU FOR MAKING MY CHRISTMAS A LESS EMO ONE.

Meet up at bedok and went dhoby for the super nice jap food as claimed by mandy.
In the end it's nihon mura, LOL.
She didnt know tamp and pasir ris also have.
Was the slowest again -.-

Went cathay and caught Alvin and the chipmunks 2.
The grand cathay theatre is SUPER HUGE.
LIKE HUGE HUGE -.-
Used to think that the chipmunks are very very irritating, but they're superrrrr cute.
Their voice is still irritating though :/
ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!

Went 313@somerset where mandy and i only purpose is to go f21.
Jy went elsewhere to walk, LOL.
4 storey high and yet found nth.
F21 online is so much nicer and cheaper.
Received my paris tee and black tank alr.
The tee is ultimate chio and cute to the max.
Val and jacq!
Will pass you all your stuffs soon once i see you all.

Went orchard aft that to the flea at fast east.
We totally lost track of time and jy have to wait like super long -.-
Paisehhhh.
2 tops caught my eye and yet i bought none.
SAVE MONEY!
Shopped alot during the hols alr, feel bad for spending, boooo.

Dinner at lido kfc.
Lost track of time also.
Took like 1hr+ to eat.
Okay, for my case -.-
Went home aft that.

THANKYOU MANDY FOR ACCOMPANYING ME TO SHOPSHOPSHOP + MORE SHOP.
THANKYOU JIANYOU FOR WAITINGWAITINGWAITING + MORE WAITING.
At least this yr christmas, im not alone.

AND KOEK IS BACK!
FINALLY.
Miss her so much okay.

If i could explain love in one word, it would have to be trust.  
Trust that he doesn’t cheat on you,
trust that he doesn’t lie to  you,
trust that he really likes you,
trust that he will always be  there for you,
trust that he can go to a party and not get high  or drunk,
trust that you don’t have to worry about him breaking  up with you the second you wake up,
trust that he will stick up  for you,
trust that he will never fall in love with another girl, 
trust that he won’t just get sick of you,
and trust that he  wants you like you want him.
-eletheowl

Trust is important.

Christmas isn't christmas

2009-12-25T00:10:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas to the rest of the ppl out there.

Nuffnang Movie Contest – “Old Dogs”

2009-12-24T22:23:00.003+08:00

Nuffnang Movie Contest – “Old Dogs”

Okay, basically my favourite scene is this scene, the nut job.
Don't you think the expression on the guy's face is so hilarious?
Chanced upon this facebook grp the other day.
"If girls have period pains, then guys should get kicked in the balls every month"
Im a girl, so i don't understand how is it like to be kicked/whacked in the balls.
However, i do know how does period pains feel like so i guess being whacked in the balls is a pretty painful thing as well? :/
Well, i'll never know :D

Old Dogs opens in cinema 31 Dec 2009

Memories

2009-12-23T23:32:00.003+08:00

Assume makes an ass out of me and u.
So never assume things.
Which i do, all the time.
Thinking too much sucks.

Christmas eve in ard 20mins time?
Last yr christmas eve was hell.

christmas eve tmr.
sian.
dun even hav tat kind of mood/feeling -.-
-Last yr blog entry

This yr, not any better.
Ppl you dun care/know, come pestering.
Nobody will understand.
Idk what i talking also.
Zzz.

& i realised my last yr post wasnt even THAT emo like now.
Wtheck.

"The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.
-Lois Lowry [The Giver]

Bleed to death

2009-12-22T23:14:00.002+08:00

It just don't feel like christmas without you - Rihanna

Another day another reminder that your not here with me,
I watch the snowflakes falling from the sky then I get lost in memories,
The time we tried to build a snowman, the time we tried to count the stars,
Its crazy how we didn’t know that we'd ever be apart.

I can hear the music playing,
See the lights upon the tree,.
I can feel the joy in every soul,
But for me it's incomplete.
And I try my best to play the part,
But no matter what I do,
No it just don’t feel like Christmas, without you.

Another tear, another regret boy, that you're so far away,
Can it be, that it was only last year we shared that Christmas day?
Remember when we took the sleigh ride, remember singing by the fire?
There's to much that’s in the daylight, I keep reliving you and I.

I can hear the music playing,
See the lights upon the tree,.
I can feel the joy in every soul,
but for me it's incomplete.
And I try my best to play the part
But no matter what I do,
No it just don’t feel like Christmas, no it just don’t feel like Christmas, without you.

See I tried but it just ain't right, without you.

"Sometimes I feel like it’s not worth it because I hate having to miss you. I hate having to deal with everything I love about you everyday and not be able to be with you. I hate it all. Sometimes I hate loving you. If only you understood how much you have dug yourself into my heart. I’m scared if I take you out, I might bleed to death.

4 more days

2009-12-21T23:10:00.002+08:00

4 more days to christmas.
Im dreading it.

I don’t like Christmas. It’s the time when whatever you’re feeling is like ten times, you know? So if you’re feeling happy, you’ll be like times 10 happy. If you’re sad, it’s like worse; very emo. The lights on Orchard Road? Getting on my nerves, man. I don’t wanna hear Jingle Bells in shopping malls either. I’m like staying away from shopping centres because of that. Sorry to be so bah-humbug!
-Rozz, 98.7fm Dj

Exactly how i feel.
Christmas gonna suck alot.
I feel like scrooge in the christmas carol.

Stupid eye had been giving me problems ever since few days ago.
Bloody itchy and swollen.

& i realised how i would either dream of you/get a nightmare.
I hate nightmares.
Esp when i wake up in fear.

Screw life.
No point in crying everday.

It's you

2009-12-18T23:42:00.001+08:00

I spent 23 hours a day wondering whether we’re wrong for each other, wondering whether we’ve got the energy that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into, whether the baggage we both bring would sink a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize I’ve been thinking about you for 23 hours. There’s something about you I can’t stay away from. Something about you, that makes me want to love you.
-eletheowl

It's you.

3F BBQ

2009-12-16T23:24:00.002+08:00

3F BBQ

Went parkway first then to ecp.

CHIO RIGHT.
Taken using phone camera.

EVEN CHIOER.
Taken using camera ^^
Can be use as those default wallpaper/screensaver alr.

yuping, hazel, vigi, kenglui, hsiaowoon, amelia, zann, chermaine, me.

A, Z, C, Z!

Jump shot, zann, me.

Jump shot!
Both taken by yuping.

BRACES!

Played poker and stuff while waiting for the rest of the ppl.
Then ppl from the other pit went over and started to gl us.
Like asking for phone numbers and basically just being gl.
Bloody irritated -.-

The smoke looks so ghostly -.-

Helped with the bbqing of food, im not a slacker okay -.-
Wanted to go see at the rocks and stuff,
but it's infested with cockroaches -.-
Plus reynold said there are rats also.
Totally spoil the mood.

Opg came, blah blah, eat, blah...
Then the guys started playing with fire -.-

Used skewers to write this.
Self explainatory.

Basically it was quite boring la -.-
Boooo.

2A Chalet

2009-12-15T23:35:00.001+08:00

2A Chalet

Finally posting it -.-

DAY ONE
went vivo with val cause she had free goldclass tickets + it was the last day.
LOVES.
Watched the informant.
Super intellectual show -.-
Went to the lounge first before movie starts.

NC 16, ahem.

The lounge

:D

The theatre was super amazing.
Chair is adjustable and they even provide blankets.
All the more for ppl like me who are afraid of cold -.-

Being retarded while waiting for the movie to start -.-

Show was okay,
but to others right, it will be BORING.
But val and i are smart to understand it :D

Even the toilet is nice. HAHA.

Went to shop ard at vivo then went to chalet.
We were there when they are having bbq.
Then mr and mrs wee came O: :D :D :D
Basically we just started talking/asking cock to mr wee, which is fun.
They left at night and we went to ehub.
BOWLING!
I rock okay.
I got strike.
LOL.
Wanted to watch movie aft that but there's no movie to watch -.-"

Went kbox instead as we had discounts.
Seriously, i think that night i kee siao or sth.
Not me, EVERYBODY WAS -.-
First time i actually sing/scream into mic damn loudly.
Plus singing all the emo songs -___-
It was kinda nice actually...
Couldnt hear myself, just sing until val go change song cause she thinks im emo.
BOOO.
It was stupid, and we started and ended the session with 恋爱ing.
Was nice when all of us are jumping ard and shouting L-O-V-E.
Love makes the world goes round.
I can sing the super fast part! :D
HAHA.
Cause somehow learn it long time ago.

Went back chalet, and all of us still in the crazy mood -.-
Keep singing and singing.
Bought maggie mee and eat, and guess what -.-
I took almost 1hr to finish.
YAY ME.

Played poker and lame stuff until we decided to go pr park to watch sunrise.
It was about 5+ alr i think.
Walked there, sit on bench until some idiot fell aslp -.-
So we started doing taiji and dancing in the middle of the park.
GOSH, how retarded.

Waited till 6+ till we saw light.

Random light effects.

See the difference?
Took around 10 shots, but lazy to upload all.

Went back chalet, and all of us looks drunk.
We cant walk properly at all.

Slept at around 7.
Woke up at around 12.

DAY TWO
lunched at the chicken rice place at ehub.
Screw that place.

Val made this heart shape using soya sauce.

Arcade next!
I seriously own in bishi bashi.
Anyone want compete? -.-
Managed to reach lvl 18 with only 50cents.

Then we saw this crazy guy spending over 100bucks just to get tickets.
He played monkey paradise or sth but keep failing to get the jackpot.
Plus he keep switching between 2 machines, while waiting for the tickets to come out.
The machine even ran out of tickets twice -.-

Went back chalet slack and stuff.
Then had a combined bbq with 2d.
Saw jiaying and audrey there, LOVES!
I had this emo aura which somehow influenced ortree to be emo -.-
Didnt eat much at bbq, only 1 chicken wing and few satays.
No appetite -.-

Went bowling at night again,
i own.
1st frame, gutter -.-
2nd frame, 3.
3rd and 4th, DOUBLE STRIKE!
Pure ~~tyconess~~ skills.

SKILLS.

Anyway, brinjal promised to treat me mac if i get turkey,
and sakura if i get strike 4 times in a row O:

Went back chalet and i actually played blackjack/daidi/indian poker with brinjal till 7am -___-"
While the rest of the ppl are happily snoring away.
Just dun feel like slping.
Anw, slept at 7+ and woke up at 9+.
Check out and went home straight to sleep.
Slept from 11+ to 6+ -.-

This post is blogged long time ago but the photo cant seem to be uploaded, thus, the delay.

I miss you

2009-12-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

I miss everything about you.

Tarot Readings

2009-12-10T23:41:00.002+08:00

Tarot Readings.
Pick out only the more impt/accurate parts.
It's super accurate.

how you feel about yourself now (The Hanged Man)

You feel a little confused and perhaps fearful because you sense or know that there is someone or something you need to give up to be able to move on. This self-sacrifice isn’t always clear - you may not even know quite what or whom you should give up. Perhaps you need to try and look at things from a different perspective.

what you most want at this moment (Temperance)

The cards suggest that what you most want at this time is some peace and harmony, a sense of control and to feel that life is flowing again. Perhaps you have been, or still are, going through some tough times regarding a relationship, financial worries or some other kind of loss. Take heart that peace will be restored - this is a time for you to be calm and patient and life will soon have a sense of normality again.

your fears (The Fool)

You are afraid of making the wrong decisions. There is a warning here that fool-hardy, impetuous actions could lead to major problems. Perhaps you feel that you don’t have control over a situation, either personal or professional. You may feel unable to complete a task or stay in a current relationship and fear the consequences of your decisions. Perhaps you know deep down that what you want isn’t really such a good thing.

what is going for you (The Emperor)

You are self-assured and more than capable of influencing people or events to achieve what you want. What’s more, support and guidance from your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life is there for the asking. Go for it!

what is going against you (The Sun)

You may experience a few delays on your quest for success and achievement but don’t worry, you’ll get there in a blaze of glory. Other than a few minor delays, look forward to a period of joy and happiness.

outcome (The Lovers)

Love is coming into your life even if you really can’t see where from at this time. If you are on your own a new lover will soon enter your life. If you are in an unhappy relationship you have a choice to make - go with your heart, take the risk, greater happiness is ahead of you.

Didnt del much cause mostly accurate.
KOEK!
This online tarot thingy take away our rice bowls as fortune tellers -_____-"

101 days

2009-12-10T22:57:00.002+08:00

101 days.
101 reasons.why i'll wait.

Bliss is having your arms wrapped around a lover, hearing the steady rhythm of his breathing, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, burying your head into his chest, and taking in the familiar scents of him all night long.
-runawaytrain

I don't know such bliss.

On a side note,
rebonded my hair today.
Flat like !@$%^
Hate the fringe.
But at least it's straight.
Maybe i'll just need time getting used to it.

100天

2009-12-09T21:26:00.002+08:00

100天

Dreamt of you last night again.
And i cried aft waking up.
I guess it doesnt matter.
This happens at least once a week.

For you, a thousand times over.
Even if it means going through the same thing for another 997 times.

Never enough

2009-12-06T23:32:00.005+08:00

I don't know if I love you more than you love me,
I don’t know if I love you less than you love me and I don’t know if we love each other just the same.
I guess we’ll never know because there will never be an objective measure of love.
But what I know is that I love you with all that I have and if that’s not enough then I’m sorry.
My love and my heart isn’t enough, then I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.
-eletheowl

Maybe im hallucinating things.
For a long period of time, i really thought my dream was real.
Cause i swear i feel it.
But then again, maybe it's just hallucination.

Sometimes I feel cheap.
Sometimes I feel worthless.
Sometimes I feel as small as an electron.
Sometimes I feel invisible.

My life never feel whole, ever since the day you left.

是因为我爱你

2009-12-05T23:03:00.003+08:00

我从来都不说不, 不是因为我愿意, 是因为我爱你.
我从来都不生气, 不是因为我没有脾气, 是因为我爱你.

Quiz

2009-12-05T22:47:00.002+08:00

Doing this for the sake of pris.
BE HONOURED.

Rules:
1. Answer the questions as honestly as possible.
2. Post this as "Did That Happen To You?"
3. Tag 10 friends.

1. What do you do if you are in the bathroom with a beetle flying around?
SCREAM -.- Rmb last time i scream when the cockroach started flying -.-

2. What do you do if you hear a song you like playing on the radio when you are all alone in the room?
Depends. Either sing if the song is high/cry if the song is sad.

3. You want to speak to your crush badly. What is your pick up line?
I wont talk.

4. What do you do if all your friends hate a particular band that you love?
Err, too bad for them. They have bad taste. YAY.

5. What do you do when you trip and fall in front of many people?
Malu -.- then maybe laugh.

6. You forgot to do your multiple-choice question homework and your class starts in 5 minutes. What do you do?
Tikam or copy lorh -.-

7. You have bad breath and someone speaks to you. How do you react?
DAO. Unless i have mint.

8. You just finished gym and after a shower, you drop your underpants on the wet floor. What do you do?
Wear back? Doubt the floor is THAT wet.

9. What do you do if a personality quiz says that you have a lousy personality as your result?
The quiz is not reliable.

10. Your friend gave you the worst gift you have ever received and asks: Do you like it? How do you react?
It's special?

11.(Continued from question 10) What are you really thinking secretly inside?
It's the thoughts that counts. Same ans as pris.

12. A hot guy/girl keeps looking at you while you are on the bus. What are you secretly thinking inside?
Is the person a stalker? -.-

Lazy to tag any person.

4th December 2009

2009-12-04T21:52:00.003+08:00

It's the 4th again.

This song is so self-denial.

It's the same like,
life rocks,
im happy,
i dun cut myself,
i have alr move on,
i don't love you,
and IM NOT LYING.

Right.
I hate life.
I hate the way how non existance i am to you.

Worthy

2009-12-02T23:00:00.000+08:00

The truth is, everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.

Back

2009-12-02T22:26:00.002+08:00

Back from 2a chalet and im tired.
Bloody tired.
Slept at 7 for both nights.
Today went home and sleep straight for 7hrs, didnt eat breakfast and lunch.
Plus there's 3F bbq tmr, sian.

Will update one day, bloody no mood.

Which idiot cry all of a sudden when the rest of the ppl are having fun?
I am the idiot.

Fuck.
Few days ago, i thought i could.
Somehow everything makes sense.
Now, i cant.
What the fuck.
I want to die.

Simplest Words

2009-11-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

How about i miss you..?

Dance Chalet;P6 Gathering

2009-11-26T23:34:00.002+08:00

-papertissue

Dance chalet was ❤.
Though there's only 5 ppl.
Me, jacq, may, jinghiang, traci.
1st day we went escape cause we had free tickets.
I still have the chop on my hand now :/
Went haunted, i closed my eyes throughout.
Booooo.
Im still scared of such things.
Viking was fun, cause jacq's reaction is classic.
She was cursing throughout la.
Sat at the very very top.
I hate the air pressure though.
Leg shivering -.-
Most rides are removed, so it's quite sucky now.

Went dinner at buddy hoagies.
They didnt charge service charge + gst, RARE.
Caught a christmas carol, i think the ending is super heartwarming.
We got chased out from paranormal btw -.-
NTUC WAS LOL!
Dance has the auntie trait, damn funny.

Went back chalet and we had this short emo talk.
Aft that is just gossiping plus watching random shows on tv -.-

2nd day went for dental.
Then to p6 gathering at jingjing's house.
Played mj, then we had this truth or truth game.
Loser in blackjack had to answer question,
and questions are all damn sensitive!
Everybody kena the question except me,
so they decided to change it to spin the bottle -_____-"
But anw, the questions arent that bad,
and the dare for jianmin was damn hilarious.
Cant believe all of us have changed so much to become so crazy.
Dinner ordered pizza hut,
and we stayed to watch the penguin show before going off.

Went back chalet,
and there's some sort of emo aura which is bad.
And that night was damn emo,
had this talk with jacq.
Sian sian sian sian sian.
Watched saw aft that -.-
Realised how im not afraid of gore but horror.
Jacq is just the total opposite la.
HAHAHA.
I mean the person saw the leg, only got 1line of blood wad, also no bone -.-
Dig the stomach only show intestine, blood looks fake also.
Im sadistic, somehow -.-
But jigsaw is SICK!
Use such ways to teach ppl to treasure life.

3rd day was just checking out.
Boooooooo.

Been a long time since i had such long post.

Indifference

2009-11-25T22:27:00.001+08:00

Don't expect someone to read your mind, and don't play games with heads or hearts. Don't tell half truths and expect trust when the full truth comes out. Half truths are no better then lies. Don't be cold to someone you care about, indifference hurts more then angry words.

Will do a proper update someday.
Tired.

Love&Pain

2009-11-24T16:12:00.002+08:00

The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.

Went dental just now.
PINK and blue!
Went home and bathe before going back to dance chalet + meeting up with p6 friends ltr.
That's why im blogging now -.-

BOOOOOOO.
Hate life.
Hate to think of what will happen in the future.

Dance Chalet;P6 Gathering

2009-11-23T14:11:00.001+08:00

Dance Chalet
23rd to 25th November

P6 Gathering
24th November

Miss catching up with all of them! ):

Miss emo talks with dance also.
Gonna emo like crap during chalet again.

Cant give up;Photoshoot

2009-11-20T21:44:00.004+08:00

And I get it, you're not giving up on me, you're forcing me to give up on you.
And that I cannot do.
-eletheowl

Photoshoot photos up at my wordpress.
Post: Hot N Cold
Ask me for pw if you want to see.

Work

2009-11-20T21:14:00.002+08:00

Worked for 3 days.
Tiring.
Like seriously, aft working you will know how difficult it is to earn money.
Sian -.-
Stand for 5hrs straight everday.
But i see familiar faces everyday though.
Today wasnt that tiring compared to ytd.
Cause i listen to music -.-
Purposely listened to techno cause it makes me HIGH -.-
Like seriously, i feel dumb mouthing the lyrics to miracle/everytime we touch etc.

Life sucks and it's damn boring.
roflmaomgwtfbbqwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm -.-

Fuck.
I hate moodswings.

800` 一个人生活

2009-11-19T22:51:00.005+08:00

800th post.

Time flies.
Say this for the idk how many times alr.
But it's so true.

Ytd night sucks.
I was bloody scared.
I fucking swear.
It actually kept me awake for 2hrs before i fall aslp again.
And i think now im damn protective of myself.
Feels wrong, and IDK.
FUCK.

Sometimes you have so many things to get off your chest,
and you feels so suffocated to suppress all the feelings,
cause you cant confide to the only person that you can confide to.

The person is the only person that you have so much trust in,
and somehow it just makes you comfortable to confide in that person.
No matter what happen.
Okay fuck, now i really feel like confiding in someone now.
CRAP.

叶子在窗外轻轻摇动
人行道没有行人走过
镜子里的我很不像我
自从你离开了我变得很软弱
你的影子在每一个角落
好像是在提醒着我
少了你的陪伴我现在有多寂寞

我想我可以习惯一个人生活
我想我可以假装不曾爱过
冰凉的夜里让眼泪温热我
感觉如果要走谁能说 no
我想我可以习惯一个人生活
在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱情怎么会是这个结果
爱情是个梦而我睡过头

Love

2009-11-19T00:20:00.002+08:00

It takes a strong heart to love but it takes an even stronger heart to love after its been broken.

I guess my heart is stronger now...?

Received photoshoot pictures from charis alr.
Not as screwed as i expected.
It's private so cant post it up.
Maybe in wordpress locked post next time.

Today was amusing talking to charis and cherie.
Charis is SADISTIC.

Wish upon a shooting star

2009-11-17T22:56:00.005+08:00

Do wishes really come true?
Meteor showers today midnight till 5am.
I don't know whether im lucky enough to catch one.
Wishes come true if you believe in it.
Having hope is better than nothing i guess.

Sigh.
Too many wishes to wish for.
Humans are all greedy right?
Even after they get what they wanted, they ask for more.

There's nothing i can do now,
but to wish/pray,
whatever that gives me hope and keeps me going.

I love the way you pick me up and spin me round and round.
I love the way you hold my hand no matter who’s there.
I love the way you say my full name when you’re mad.
I love the way that you tilt my chin just enough to kiss me.
I love the way your arms fit perfectly around my waist.
I love the way you say I love you like no one else does.
I love the way you let me sleep on your shoulder when I’m tired.
I love the way you brush my hair out of my face.
I love how we can talk and exchange banter about everything under the sun.
I love the way you love me.

I miss you baby.

Love hurts

2009-11-16T21:53:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you.
Then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece you.
They didn't ask for it.
They did something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like "maybe we should be just friends" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts.
Not just in the imagination.
Not just in the mind.
It'a a soul-hurt, a real-gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I hate love.
-Neil Gaiman

I don't hate love.

Sucks

2009-11-14T22:16:00.002+08:00

I hate the life im in right now.
Mum pms/moodswing, whatever.
Kp me for nth.
Call me study.
Accuse me.
Think she knows everything.
Ya la, you have people/spies reading my blog for you and telling you everything la.
But do they know everything?
NO.
SO DONT FUCKING ACCUSE ME FOR STH I DIDNT DO.
DONT ALWAYS THINK THAT YOU'RE RIGHT.
DONT ALWAYS THINK THAT SMSING IS THE CAUSE OF MY SUCKY RESULTS.
DONT THREATEN ME.
DONT DARE ME.

Fucking hate life.
Plus next yr sec 4, gonna be worse.
I dun care if any of your spies are reading this now.
I dun give a damn.

You check my phone all the time,
sit beside me when im using com,
dun let me use com if i nvr study.
Seriously just screw yourself.

EGO EGO EGO.
IS EGO SO IMPT TO SO MANY FUCKING PPL?!

Hate it.
Especially when no one is there for you.
You're supposed to endure all this shit without any motivation.
Life sucks.

Of course I can live without you. But what kind of life is that?
-runawaytrain

795`

2009-11-12T23:05:00.002+08:00

Feel sick.
Damn nauseous.
Some days i starve myself.
Some days i stuff myself.

I HATE BRACES OKAY.
To those wearing braces, i hate it -.-
3 damn ulcers in my mouth now, zzz.
Spamming the watermelon thingy dun seem to work now.

TMR LAST DAY OF SCH.
FINALLY.
But life will be boring.
Hate the sch.
Having SOY aft sch reopen.
Start of year exam.
Stupid.

Hate life.

Every night I rush to my bed
With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you
When I close my eyes I'm going out of my head
Lost in a fairytale, can you hold my hands and be my guide?

Nuffnang Movie Contest – “A Christmas Carol”

2009-11-12T22:29:00.005+08:00

Nuffnang Movie Contest – “A Christmas Carol”

As most of you know, christmas is around the corner!
It may seem long, but trust me, time flies.
The next minute, you'll just find yourself in shopping malls frantically picking up presents for your loved ones.
Why not just take this time and catch "A Christmas Carol" with your friends or family now?

Disney’s A Christmas Carol, the classic Dickens’ tale, is re-envisioned by Academy Award®-winning filmmaker Robert Zemeckis in a groundbreaking 3-D motion picture event starring JIM CARREY, GARY OLDMAN, BOB HOSKINS and ROBIN WRIGHT PENN.

In addition, Jim Carrey plays a total of 4 roles in the movie.

1. Ebenezer Scrooge
2. Ghost of Christmas Past
3. Ghost of Christmas Present
4. Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come

Catch the trailer here.

“A CHRISTMAS CAROL” OPENS IN SINGAPORE CINEMAS 19 November 2009!

793`

2009-11-10T21:44:00.002+08:00

O lvl chinese today.
Not that bad, but not that good either.
Sian.
Life sucks and is boring like some crap -.-

I WANT GO SHOPPING.
ZZZZ -.-
I want watch my sister's keeper and paranormal activity.
Lalalalalala.

Most prob can pon sch whole day tmr.

'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles,
If I could just see you,
If I could just hold you tonight.

Sick

2009-11-09T19:15:00.002+08:00

All of times to fall sick,
i fall sick now.
STUPID.
Must be all the walking in rains,
crying in cold,
and the stupid weatherswing.

But i dun care.
Not as if im dead yet.
Fever makes me HOT.
YAY! -.-

Cant believe myself was staring at the ahs newsletter during chinese today -.-
Make myself sad only.
Today is a sad day.
Cheer up everybody.
Tmr is Os,
goodluck ppl.

Hope i dun get a freaking headache tmr.
Life sucks.

Life sucks

2009-11-08T20:10:00.002+08:00

LIFE SUCKS.
Deleted everything that i've typed out and move it to wordpress instead.

Stomach feels damn weird.
Feels empty but im full.
Feels nauseous but dun have anything to vomit out.
Bloated.

Damn helpless.
Nobody cares.
Mum dun care,
dad dun care,
even you also dun care.
Would it even matter to you if i die one day?
Sometimes, i wonder.
How do i even land myself in such a pathetic state?

It doesnt matter anymore i guess.
Cause to you, im nth.
Not even a stranger.

790`

2009-11-06T22:14:00.003+08:00

I see my archives' list getting longer and longer.
Time seems to trickle off our fingers like sand.
& it's just impossible to rewind time and go back to how it used to be.

I suck.
Suck to the max.

Dance today.
WAS DAMN LAG.
Idk wth is wrong with me.
Mind seems to wander off damn easily.
Feel damn pressurised and everything.
I really cant do anything right.
Whatever i do, it will always be wrong, isnt it?

But still, I LOVE DANCE.
I love dancing.
Seems to take mind off things although mind will still wander off to somewhere else -.-
Esp when there are no instructors and we are learning self choreographed dance.
LOVEEEEEEEEE.
Idk what's with this sudden passion.
Kind of looking forward to orientation.
Time to scam ppl in joining dance.

Life sucks.
Sucks, sucks sucks sucks.
10000000000 sucks also not enough to express the feeling.
Been having certain weird feelings nowadays.
Idk how to describe it.
It's just... weird.

Slack my day off everyday.
No life.
No life.
No life.
No life.
No life.
No life.
No life.

Screw life.
Having headache now.
Don't understand why does life suck so much.
Feel like going out, but im lazy.
Feel like shopping, but rather shop online.
I have no life.
I suck.

Seriously, sth damn wrong with me.
Suddenly lose confidence in everything.
Even in dance.
Feel damn bloody pressurised today.
Or maybe im giving myself too much stress.
Crap.

Weatherswing

2009-11-05T21:44:00.002+08:00

Weather nowadays is damn crappy.
Rain, stop, rain, stop.
Just like moodswing.
Cry, stop, cry, stop.

3F is weird.
Like what many teachers said.
We're not like any of the typical triple sci class.
Guess our class is really damn screwed up now.
Mr ong might even lose his job.
Whole class was feeling damn guilty about it,
but there's nth we can do.

Realised that not eating = saving alot of money.
Saving alot of money = SHOPPING.
Didnt eat much this few days.
Everyday skip breakfast recess and lunch.
And surprisingly im not hungry.
Recess is a good time to chiong hw that im lazy to do at home/memorise tingxie.
Life sucks.
I feel like a no lifer.

Moodswing.
Feel like crying again.

I guess i had overlooked the fact.
I didnt know i would fall for you so deep and hard.
And now it's impossible to pull myself up again.

I'm sad. So what? Just cut.
Credits to meowmeow.

4th November

2009-11-04T21:33:00.002+08:00

It's the day of the year again.

Done what i could do.
Cried till tears are dry.

I miss you.

787`

2009-11-03T22:24:00.003+08:00

Im entitled to only 15mins usage of com due to what happened ytd night.
Not supposed to touch com at all in the first place.
But i dun care, 15mins better than nth.
Crappy -.-
But at least,
i dun feel that bad.
I've completed what i want to do and im happyyyyyy.
Hopefully it's worth it... ):

Went meow house today.
Completed my stuff.
At first going dhoby for lunch.
In the end, everybody lazy.
TEAMMY DAMN CUTE.
Stare at me when im eating my kfc -.-
And jump like mad when he see popcorn chicken.
Watched the grudge 2.
Not as scary.
LALALALA.

Time's up.
Life sucks.
Time flies ):
I still can remember what happened 2 years ago.

786`

2009-11-02T21:58:00.002+08:00

LIFE SUCKS LIFE SUCKS LIFE SUCKS.
NEVER FAIR.

Anyway jacq is becoming like meeeeeee.
She thinks life sucks.
She eat the same subway combi as me today.
honey oat + coldcut trio + cheese + lettuce tomato cucumber + white chip macadamia + ice lemon tea.
exactly the same.

I think endorphin rocks,
cause i bloody injured my feet ytd,
damn pain plus today limping -.-
so more endorphins are released from the pitituary gland which is stimulated by the hypothalamus in the brain.
ah whatever.
bio -.-
but endorphins are addictive.
like seriously.
zzzz, think jacq agrees with me also.

LIFE SUCKS!
i bloody did my chi homework today just to use com.
and do some impt stuffs.
BLOODY IMPT.
whatever, nobody will know how bloody impt it is.
plus im short of time.
boooo.

overreacted ytd.
im crazy -.-
think too much.
stupid.

life sucks.
esp when i use com.
confirm 100% sumpa emo plus cry.
wth.

1st November 2009

2009-11-01T19:03:00.001+08:00

Time flies.
& i know im not okay.

Tell me how would i be okay without you?

Halloween

2009-10-31T23:02:00.004+08:00

Halloween today, so happy halloween :D

I think i have depression -.-

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION IN TEENS
-Sadness or hopelessness
-Irritability, anger, or hostility
-Tearfulness or frequent crying
-Withdrawal from friends and family
-Loss of interest in activities
-Changes in eating and sleeping habits
-Restlessness and agitation
-Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
-Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
-Fatigue or lack of energy
-Difficulty concentrating
-Thoughts of death or suicide

I think i have like at least 8 out of 12.

Okay, idk why im researching bout all this.

Self injury.

Cutting - involves making cuts or scratches on your body with any sharp object, including knives, needles, razor blades or even fingernails. The arms, legs and front of the torso are most commonly cut because they are easily reached and easily hidden under clothing

Hitting (with hammer or other object), Bone breaking, Punching, Head-banging (more often seen with autism or severe mental retardation)
[This is more for guys punching wall -.-]

When a person injures themselves endorphins are released in the body and function as natural pain killers
The behavior may become addictive because the person learns to associate the act of self-injury with the positive feelings they get when endorphins are released in their system

Alot more stuffs i found,
but not going to post it,
if not it will be spammed by all this stupid depression thingy.

I think i need help.
Maybe.

Remember

2009-10-30T22:24:00.004+08:00

I want you to remember the feel of my hair and remember the scent of my perfume I always wear. Remember my laugh and how sweet our kisses used to be. Remember the way that you used to love me.
-eletheowl.tumblr.com

I didnt feel anything aft getting back results.
Somehow.
I improved.
But it doesnt matter, cause mid years is really a major screw up.

Sometimes you have to admit,
life is sucky.
It really is.

Went out to eat with jacq and val today.
Was damn silent throughout.
I finally know how to put those feelings into words.
It's like...
You do the things he used to do,
you eat the food he used to eat,
you drink the drinks he used to drink,
you adapted all his little habits.
Just to imagine he's still there.

Went val's house,
she was reading out all the tumblr quotes to me.
At first i was closing my eyes and thinking bout things,
then the next minute,
i fell aslp.
She fell aslp too.
Woke up and i went to find mandy,
and val went to meet up with 3d ppl.
I hate going home.

Lol.
God loves playing such pranks with me.
That kind of scene would only happen in drama la.
And the moment i walked away,
i turned back,
i cried.
Of course you don't know,
right?

Im such a cry baby.

I rmb 2yrs ago,
night games are screwed up.

Beautiful Miracle

2009-10-29T23:34:00.002+08:00

Isnt it a beautiful miracle?
To see two people crossing paths,
getting to know each other,
falling in love,
and ended up being together.

Probability:0.0001%
& it hurts.

781`

2009-10-29T18:55:00.002+08:00

There's alot of things in my mind right now...
I wasnt even like that in sch today.
Was too tired to think about anything.

I realised something.
How desperate can I get.
This is bad.

Went to cut hair with jacq and danielle today.
Idk why do i cut my hair.
For fun?
Life sucks?
Yes it does.
How can jacq and i cry again?
Stupid, everything is so stupid.

Gonna get screwed damn badly tmr alr.
Report book, i bet my mum will kp me like shit again.
I tried working hard, i guess.
Maybe i didnt.
I don't know.

I really want to be happy,
but i realised how difficult it can be.
It's my character,
just like what danielle said.

Yeap,
tears just came out again.
Don't really feel like caring,
I can cry for all i want.

Sometimes people are just so....
2 faced.
desperate.
crap.
bastard.
fag.
jerk.
asshole.
Nope, this is not for you.
CRAZY!!! You know who im talking bout.

Meaningless

2009-10-28T20:50:00.004+08:00

Somebody just kill me or sth please.
Life so meaningless.
You doesnt seem to care anymore.
I can go and die or cut myself.
Cause there's no point.
If anybody happens to see any scars,
i fought with cats.
End of story.

Screw life,
idk whether i should do that anymore.
Maybe i'll try, idk.
But in the end,
i may just end up with a even more broken heart.

I tried holding on,
i tried doing everything i could.
But everything doesnt matter at all,
right?

Horrible day today.
Whole mind wandered off during recess,
kept crying in front of people.
Shit things happen.
Embarrassed myself.
What's the point?
I have to be strong,
i know i have to.
But why does it seem so hard?

All the memories we shared,
can be thrown into the sea alr.
i dun need them.
I dun need them.
I DUN FUCKING NEED THEM.
I rather have you.

It fucking hurts so much,
but im still being an idiot.

Zhidan, FUCK YOU.
Stop crying and making a fool in front of people.
Stop chanting life sucks everyday.
Stop making people worrying about you.
It's so not worth it.

Idk why,
but i feel like destroying myself.
Im alr destroyed,
so it doesnt matter anyway.

I didnt know.
I really didnt know.
You are the one who builds me up,
but you are the one who tears me down.
Crushed.

Loser with a big L.
How pathetic can i get.
Life seems to suck so much.
Shit seems to happen on everybody nowadays.
It hurts,
to even see the strongest among us shed tears.
Cheer up, i love you ):
You still have me to emo with.
We can cry together.

Why the heck am i crying again?
Sometimes i really wish that i can be a flirt,
or even a slut.
Change boyfriend like change underwear.
Dun have to be so serious in relationships.
NO POINT.
You just end up bearing all the pain.

Promises are crap,
they are just meant to be broken.
What's the use?

Whatever, life sucks.
And im still crying.
Tears are worthless.
I am worthless.
Life is worthless.
I hope i can get depression one day.

Everyone’s heartbroken nowadays, but I mean, we all just have to move on. What’s the point of reminiscing when you know the person is no longer worth while; when they’re no longer who they used to be? When their heart is somewhere else? Do you think they still care for you, and are still thinking about you? Because quite frankly, they aren’t.

Credits to http://eletheowl.tumblr.com/page/2 and val.

779`

2009-10-27T21:10:00.003+08:00

LIFE SUCKS.

Mandy and I are dumb dumbs.
Sometimes i dun get why i emo and cry for such stuffs,
when others can emo and cry for sth that is thousand times more impt than mine.
Sigh, damn heart wrenching when you see ppl cry for sth that's more serious than what is happening to me now.
And i guess i really have to be thankful about it?
Give thanks... ):
But still...
Sigh.
Sometimes you just cant help but to think bout it,
or even cry.

Went dental today.
Changed colour from pink to light pink and purple.
Purple is nice, but the light pink is... -.- too light.
Hate it.
Teeth pain again, damn.
And having cramps suck big time, seriously.

Feel like dying,
dun feel like moving at all.
Either lying or sitting down.
Pain like hell.
Think at night im gonna go open the heat pack that is left over since the china trip last yr.
Hope can ease the pain or sth.
I have low tolerance for pain.

Do you know i miss that concerned look on your face?

Maybe it's just time for me to shoulder everything now.
But, it's suffocating me.
Im sure you still remember how dependent i was, don't you?

Fengshui

2009-10-26T22:44:00.001+08:00

Just realised the previous post is the 777th post.
Wow.

Anyway,
sometime you gotta believe in fengshui.
HAHA.
Mandy's mum somehow read about me and said im fire.
She also predicted that im tall and skinny O:
And she said that next time my husband will be in control of me.
BOOOOOOOOOOO.

Im being random.
Im still alive and ~~kicking~~ crying.

777`

2009-10-26T15:44:00.002+08:00

Life is so fucking meaningless la.
It's only the 2nd week aft exam and which parent will call their children to fucking study for 2hrs each day?!
IDIOTS.

The whole damn world is going against me la.
What is the fucking point of living in this world?
NOBODY CARES.
NOBODY FUCKING CARES.
NOBODY CARES HOW FUCKING UPSET I AM,
HOW HURT I AM,
HOW SAD I AM.
NOBODY WILL CARE.

LIFE SUCKS.
LIFE IS UNFAIR.
WHAT TO DO?
JUST LIVE IT WITH LA.
DIE ALSO CANNOT DIE.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

NO.
YOU WONT UNDERSTAND.
YOU WONT CARE.

So what?
Cry everyday?
Crying got what fucking use?
So what if im crying now?
I can cry myself to dehydration or death.
I WONT GIVE A DAMN.

Life sucks.
Sucks to the max.
No point living at all.
Don't understand why do we even have to be born in the first place.
Life is damn horrible.

776`

2009-10-25T23:57:00.003+08:00

Only maybe a minute to blog.
Sighhh.
Day started damn badly.
What's wrong with me and dreams seriously.
Started off the day crying in my dream, and also in reality.
Sucks so much.
Idk why i feel so much though it's only a dream...

Always have the urge to do sth,
but always holding back.
Damn afraid of everything now.
):
When will i ever have the courage?

But anyway,
I HAVE ALR COMPLETED ONE OF THE CHI BOOK WE HAD TO READ DURING THE HOLIDAYS.
No life i know...
But it's really a good way to distract yourself.
The book isnt that bad,
quite interesting.
At least i have a purpose in life now.
To read shui hu zhuang next -.-
NO LIFE.
But still, life is meaningless.

Meaningless....

It's bad to start and end a day crying.
Cry so frequently,
tears also become worthless alr.

Just like me.

Worthless.

Have you ever felt the same before?
You're always taking note of things, you're always trying to follow exactly, trying to do sth to hold on to the past, to not forget anything.
But it hurts even more i guess.

774`

2009-10-24T23:31:00.002+08:00

If i can rant out everything on this damn blog,
I WILL.
I SWEAR I WILL.
EVERY SINGLE THING ON MY MIND NOW THAT MAKES ME CRY.
THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SHIT.
BUT I CANT,
BLOODY CANT.

I FEEL SO NON EXISTANCE AGAIN,
SO WORTHLESS,
SO LOSER.

FUCKING FEEL LIKE DYING.

LIFE IS SO UNFAIR.
FUCKING UNFAIR.

I DUN WANT TO FUCKING HOLD ANY RESERVATIONS, OR EVEN SPARE A THOUGHT ANYMORE.
I DUN WANT TO EVEN STRUGGLE WITH MYSELF JUST TO MAKE A DECISION WHETHER OR NOT TO GO OUT WITH FRIENDS.
I DUN WANT TO FUCKING CARE ABOUT WHAT CONTENT I TYPE OUT IN THIS BLOG.
I DUN WANT PPL TO SAVE ME FROM ALL THE MISUNDERSTANDINGS.
WHY DO I HAVE TO DO ALL THIS?
WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
THERES NO DAMN PURPOSE AT ALL.
THERES NO DAMN MEANING TO IT.
I DUN EVEN KNOW WHY THE HELL AM I DOING THIS.

SCREW LIFE.
FUCKING WANT TO DIE.
FUCKING WANT TO JUMP OUT OF THE WINDOW NOW.
FUCKING WANT TO CUT SLASH STAB MYSELF NOW.
I THINK I WILL.

Lost

2009-10-24T20:39:00.002+08:00

Lost.
Im so lost.
In this world, in this life, in your eyes, in myself.

Ever felt so tired and hopeless you feel like dying?
Felt like giving up on yourself and everything?
Yet you know you cant, cause, that's not the right thing to do.
And that's not what you want to do too.
I dun believe in things like, "It's not whether you want to or not, it's whether you have to."
It's like, since you dun want, then nobody can force you to do anything right.
And maybe fate.
Fate is crap.
I dun believe in it anymore.
Everything happens cause of something that you've done.
And eventually, it leads to a certain outcome.
So, every shit that's happening right now happens cause of sth i did.
At least, that's what i think.
I guess.

Life sucks.
It really sucks so much.
Crying yourself to sleep every night.
Waking up with swollen eyes everyday.
Doing stuff that hurt yourself.
No use.
Everything has no use.
Maybe it can numb yourself for a certain period of time,
maybe it makes you feel better.
But it wont last.
It lasts only at that moment.
And aft that moment, the whole cycle will repeat itself again.
The vicious cycle.

I know whatever i do, whatever i say has got no use now.
I really really dunno what to do anymore.
Im practically ruining my own life,
by drowning in such misery and agony everyday.
Will you understand?
Will you care?

Who Will I Run To?

2009-10-24T00:52:00.000+08:00

Who Will I Run To? - Kiley Dean

You were the one
Who I could tell my deepest fears
And you were the one
Who always wiped away my tears

When he hurt me you were my prince
Sent straight from above
Like a fool I never saw
You were falling in love

So now I’ve lost everything
Cause now you say
You’re gone forever more
So who will I

Who will I run to
Who will I turn to
Now that you left me behind
Who will dry my tears
When I cry
Who will I run to
And who will I turn to
Now that you’re not here
In my life

You were the one
I took for granted all those years
And you were the one
I should’ve known
It was so clear

How could I be so blind
Not to see what’s before my eyes
I’ll get you back here with me
If it takes the rest of my life

Cause I would do anything
Cause I want you back forever more

Who will I run to
Who will I turn to
Now that you left me behind
Who will dry my tears
When I cry
Who will I run to
And who will I turn to
Now that you’re not here
In my life

I will gladly journey
Across the deep blue sea
If I could know
That I would have you here with me
I realize that I was blind
But now I finally see
I need you back here in my life
Oh baby can it be

Who will I run to
Who will I turn to
Now that you left me behind
Who will dry my tears
When I cry
Who will I run to
Who will I turn to
Now that you’re not here
In my life

Who will be there for me
Who’s gonna rescue me
Who’s gonna share my dreams
Who’s gonna mend this broken heart

772`

2009-10-23T22:12:00.002+08:00

Sucky day.
Sucks so much.
SO DAMN MUCH.

No cca today, went out with val to ikea.
Had lunch there den went round looking at stuffs.
Sigh, damn tempted to do certain things.
And everything i see, i thought of you, idk why.
Went giant as well.
And spend ard 1hr at each place.
Val went home and i went to took 17 home, to drag time.
Boooooo.

Life is so crappy, and it sucks so much.
Crying plus having moodswings everyday.
I dun even know what else can i do anymore.
Self-mutilate?
No use.
It wont make you feel any better.
And it's really stupid to do so.
Idk what is wrong with me to be an idiot to cry in public.
Embarrassing much?
And it sucks so much, cos unknowingly, i'll somehow ap ppl, which is really bad.
Nothing is right in my life now.
I dun even have any purpose or motivation to push me forward.
It feels as though im dropping into a hole, and it's never ending.
It just falls and falls and falls...
Life just get worse and worse.
Idk how to pull myself up again,
or stop being such a pessimist.
But it's difficult, so damn difficult.
Cause you're not here in my life, and everything just doesnt seem right.